Tick Tock, the Biological Clock
The focus on youth has always been a rollercoaster ride. It comes and goes in the public forum as a worthwhile topic. Trends are here today and gone tomorrow. Styles, fashions, lingo – they all have the shelf life of a piece of cheese.
So what do you do, if you’re not a member of the youth movement, and haven’t been for, oh, a decade or so? Maybe longer? Do you have those moments when you see some kids holding hands or smooching, and feel that little pang of regret because you’re out of the loop?
This is not medical advice. You probably won’t find this in many of the psychiatry text books. Medicine, being a science, relies on mathematical probability and provable theory. Time has definite biological properties, and its affect on a person can be analyzed and prognosticated by very specific scientific criteria.
Pooh. A biological clock is nothing more than a realization that we are finite physical beings. So be it. That doesn’t mean that the indefinable and much debated person inside the physical body is necessarily a slave to the march of time.
You are only as old as you act, as you think, as you dream. If you still have the urge to go ask that nice-looking person at the table over there to go out, are you breaking any laws, other than “biological laws”? Will that person run away, screaming at the top of their lungs, that some old letch is attempting to molest them? Not likely, as long as you do it with respect and civility.
The heart is a persistent motivator. It really doesn’t care what the calendar says. If it feels like having some fun and excitement, it will make these wishes known very clearly. Best non-medical advice? Listen to your heart.
Add a comment February 2, 2010
Tags: biological clock, rollercoaster ride
Saturday in the Park
Man, is it hard to think up new things to do. Especially when you’re in the first stages of dating, and you’re trying to keep it exciting enough to get asked back. How many clubs are there in any one city? How many times can you go to the movies, or the restaurants that you both like?
If you’re really getting serious about this other person, and you think that it could lead to something a little more on the permanent side, here’s an idea you might want to try. Get personal. That doesn’t mean get into the other person’s business (unless they offer that). It means be personal. Share yourself.
For instance, would you rather go to Sea World than Saw XXIII? Say so. Make it known what you like to do. This is an outward expression of who’s really lurking inside. So what’s the risk?
Well, this other person may not be interested. They may disagree with your choices. They may not share your passion for bass fishing. So be it. At least they know who you are. And if they disagree, ask them what they would rather do. Make it a genuine discussion.
Next thing you know, you’re finding out all sorts of things about this person that you never even knew. What a person likes reflects what they are like, and this can lead down the road to discovering what makes them tick.
At day’s end, you may find that you are closer than ever. And all because you wanted to go to the park instead of go parking.
Add a comment January 22, 2010
Tags: get personal, in the park, saturdays
A Rose is Still a Rose
An oldie, for sure. This expression was used quite a bit back in the days before the Internet, digital mail, and television entertained the masses. Yes, the Stone Ages. But it was a way to invite others for a few hours of companionship, with the possibility of continued social interaction afterwards. It wasn’t about the tennis court, necessarily. It was about courting, in many cases.
So what’s the connection? Well, have you tried to be creative when it comes to inviting someone to join you in one activity or another? Good luck. What hasn’t been done? Which activity or sport or dating ritual or hobby or musical genre or clothing style hasn’t already been done, captured on an iPhone, and posted on YouTube or Facebook?
So, what’s a Don Juan or a Cleopatra to do? Streak a 3 Doors Down concert? Get arrested just to get some airtime? Don’t be ridiculous.
There’s a whole world of ideas out there. What matters most is that any idea meant to attract some wanted attention from prospective partners in the dating game has to be unique, if not in content then in presentation. A rose is still a rose, but if it’s attached to an invitation to dinner or a pair of tickets to the latest movie premiere, it will get some attention. The right kind.
You don’t have to re-invent the wheel to go out with someone. Just set the wheels of your imagination in motion. Put a new shine on an old pair of shoes. And you’ll be dancing the night away.
Add a comment January 8, 2010
Tags: a rose, old expression
That Special Someone
So, you finally met that special one you’ve been looking for all your life. You’ve been seeing each other exclusively for six months, and things are going pretty well. You’re getting to know each other, slowly developing that trust and intimacy that only lovers can have. And then, you hit the big wall.
No worries. Well, maybe a few. But the good news is that this is a natural point in all relationships when those initial passions have had a chance to burn nice and hot, and the flames have reached as high as they can. So what’s this feeling of uncertainty about?
It’s about being a human. Most of us need an close relationship with a person whom we can trust with our most intimate secrets. Someone who is more than just a friend. But there’s a certainty reluctance to totally give yourself to another person that is hard-wired into all of us.
And that’s as it should be. Each of us have to be self-reliant to survive in this world. There are some things that just cannot and should not be left to others to do. And it’s that feeling of self that raises its persistent voice at the sixth month and says, “Wait a minute – don’t forget who you are”.
That’s a good thing. Don’t ever lose it. No one should ever totally lose themselves in a relationship, because it will doom any chance of success. A really good relationship is a union of two distinct individuals who are able to share their commonalities in a spirit of mutual love, understanding, and support.
So don’t panic. Recognize it for what it is. Talk about it. And then play on.
Add a comment December 13, 2009
Tags: close relationship, special someone
Dating is Difficult
Why do people try so hard? Dating is a difficult enough proposition without adding more pressure to the situation. Do I look all right? Are my clothes out of style? Will I say something stupid? Is Madonna still hip?
So why would you want to add more fuel to the fire by pretending to be something you’re not? What will that get you? First base? A second date? Doubtful.
Let’s face it. People are getting wiser every day. It’s because we’ve all seen just about everything there is to see, thanks to online profiles and YouTube. So nobody’s going to be fooled if you show up wearing a Jay-Z shirt and claiming to be in his posse.
Here’s a novel approach – try being yourself. Wow. Why didn’t I think of that? Who’s going to care if you don’t have the latest app’s downloaded on your iPhone when your big smile and natural spark are getting noticed. Sure, some people are impressed by bling, but in the long run, most people would rather be with somebody who is real than somebody who is really pretentious.
You can still go to the latest event, or hang out at the cool club. But it will be you, not some facsimile ripped from Justin Timberlake or Miley Cyrus. It will be you that your date will remember, not the GPS gizmo in your ride.
Just show up, wearing whatever you’re wearing, and let the real you shine through. It’s amazing how that works.
Add a comment November 9, 2009
Tags: dating, novel approach
