Picking Up The Pieces

Ouch. A whole year invested in what promised to be a long-term relationship. Those awkward first dates, the tension of insecurity, getting to know the good and the bad about the other person, finding common ground, and finding you liked it. A lot.

And then, that phone conversation. Or, even worse, the email (double ouch). Or The Worst – a text message (triple oy vey with a side of verklempt). It’s over. No good reason. Just a general sense of “this isn’t working out”. What? It took a year to figure that out? Thanks for letting me know!

It happens. To everyone, eventually. It’s unrealistic to expect otherwise. So what now?

First off, don’t take it too personal. It takes two to tango, as they say, and if one dancing partner decides they would rather do the fox trot, it just can’t be helped. Sure, it would be nice if all humans went through changes at the same time. But it rarely happens. If ever.

Next, give it some time. It’s called a period of mourning. It applies here. It is like a death, in a way. That iconic third person that was created – the union of two into one – has shuffled off this mortal coil. Honor that passing, and count yourself lucky that you had the experience. Many people never do.

Last, and most important – move on. It’s easy to drown in self-doubt, trying to figure out what went wrong and “what did I do”. Admit whatever mistakes you made, learn from the experience, and anticipate the arrival of a new day. It will come. Pick up the pieces, and get back in the game.

Add a comment October 15, 2009